I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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