I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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