my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
