Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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