So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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