I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
