you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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