I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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