Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
