The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
