At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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