I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
