oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
