We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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