I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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