I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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