Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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