i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
