I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
