The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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