you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
