Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
