It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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