I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
