His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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