it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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