how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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