How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize