can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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