honey bunches of taint.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
