3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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