How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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