its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
