Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
