"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
