I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize