Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
