He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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