This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
