Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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