Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
