I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
