More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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