Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize