i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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