ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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