Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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