I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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