Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
