I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
