No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
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