You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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