Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot

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(941): View more from Florida

My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.

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(619): View more from California

Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.

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(941): View more from Florida

I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person

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