its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
