HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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