We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
