I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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