Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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