She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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