At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
