Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
