I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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