sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
